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R.I.P. El Chupacabra (1995-2011)

El Chupacabra, most famous for his work on that one episode of The X-Files has been killed by a little boy named Carter. From Wikipedia (Ed. note: A++ on the photo illustration Mr. Pedia):

The chupacabras (Spanish pronunciation: [tʃupaˈkaβɾas], from chupar “to suck” and cabra “goat”, literally “goat sucker”) is a legendary cryptid rumored to inhabit parts of the Americas. It is associated more recently with sightings of an allegedly unknown animal in Puerto Rico (where these sightings were first reported), Mexico, and the United States, especially in the latter’s Latin American communities. The name comes from the animal’s reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock, especially goats.

Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1995 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile, and even being spotted outside the Americas in countries like Russia and The Philippines. It is supposedly a heavy creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail.

And now he is dead. Carter fucking killed him. R.I.P. El Chupacabra. You will be missed. You’re in heaven now, sucking the blood from the angels’ livestock. Full news report on this tragic murder after the jump:

Uh, couple quick questions:

1. What on Earth is this news channel? Like what high school A/V class makes this news channel?
2. Did Carter make his Senor Frogs shirt himself with a magic marker?
3. Wait, he took hair and skin samples and put them in a bag and gave the bag to the reporter? That is weird, but also what did he do with the rest of the body and also how many scientists do you think it will take to prove that he did in fact kill the Chupacabra?

Tough questions. Looks like there are TWO journalists following this story. (Via NothingToDoWithArbroath.)