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Zach Braff Not Gay Says Zach Braff

Zach Braff was hacked! From TMZ:

Zach Braff says he’s NOT gay … and insists he’s the victim of a HACKER — who broke on to his website this morning and posted a fake “coming out” statement. The phony statement appeared early Wednesday morning — reading, “I have been hiding a secret inside me for too long. The human mind can only bare so much before it explodes in emotions, and well … it is time to let the world know. I am excited and proud to announce that I am an open member of the homosexual community.”

But Zach’s rep tells TMZ … “He was hacked … that site has been down since 2006.”

HAHAHHAHAHA. You guys, I know that the sexual politics of coming out are very personal and tricky and complicated and that in the age of cyber-harassment it is probably a bad thing to hack into someone’s website and call them gay, but OH MAN, if we can just be 12 years old for a second: someone hacking into a Zach Braff website that HASN’T BEEN UPDATED IN FIVE YEARS ANYWAY and posting a VERY EARNEST COMING OUT STATEMENT is very very funny. I also like to imagine the panicked look on Zach Braff’s face when people started asking him for his GRINDR username. Oh, hackers. You win! Full text of the statement after the jump:

“The human mind can only bare so much before it explodes in emotions.” -Zach Braff’s Tombstone

I know “it gets better,” but this is PRETTY GOOD! (Haha. Booo.)