Videogum

Gwyneth Paltrow Would Be Caught Dead With A Coach Bag

As you can see from the above photos, Gwyneth Paltrow is the new face of Coach. Neat! Definitely going to buy a ton more Coach stuff now. My only question before I do buy a ton more Coach stuff is: what’s Coach? Just kidding, I know what it is. They make horses? Wait, no, give me a second, I can do this: they make carriage seats? Like, leather seats for inside of a carriage? Cologne that smells like hay? This is, of course, rather down-market for Gwyneth. Let me put it this way: I know people who own Coach products (not bragging) but I don’t know anyone who owns a $2,300 coffee maker. That is an important distinction when we are talking about the world of HIGH FASHION. I think? I think that is an important distinction? Admittedly, five seconds ago I thought Coach made horses, so perhaps I am not the best person to judge what is and what is not an important distinction when we are talking about the world of HIGH FASHION. “Ain’t nobody gonna see your coffee maker hanging off of your arm when you enter the gala, girl.” That is a quote by Andre Leon Talley from the hit documentary The September Issue. I would include a quote from Anna Wintour but she is too busy barfing at the very thought of a Coach product. SO GRAUCHE (that is a combination of the words “gross” and “gauche,” and it’s perfect). (Via ONTD.)