Lady Stuff: Summer’s Eve Talking Hand Vagina Ad

It’s difficult to be in advertising these days, I imagine. The real world and the advertising world are changing, each edgier and more open than ever, and it seems like in order to have anyone pay attention to your product you really just have to go for it. But only so many companies can nail down Improv Everywhere at one time, you know? So it’s tough. The key, I think, is finding that area that’s right against the line — almost out of your client and target audience’s comfort zone, but in a way that’s exciting and challenging, rather than intimidating and off-putting. It’s what I say in all my seminars. It’s tough to pull off, but when you nail it, it’s clear that you’ve nailed it. For example, this Summer’s Eve commercial featuring a hand posing as a talking vagina asking to be your BFF and get wiped after the gym? NAILED IT!

First of all, [email protected]@@&@#*#! Second of all, “I’ve tried giving you subtle hints.” Third of all, “VERTICAL SMILE.” Holy shinola! VERTICAL SMILE? SUBTLE HINTS? WHO OK’D THIS? A MAN? Ladies, if you aren’t upset enough about this ad yet, just picture A MAN making it. “This is what ladies will respond to,” he’s probably saying. “Can we get a vagina puppet? What do women like? Puppets? We can’t get a puppet? Well fuck I don’t know then, can you get Cheryl in here? CHERYL?” Hahah. And you might be thinking, “But I have a black vagina. Is there a black vagina I can speak with? I’m not totally sold. I mean, I’m almost sold, but I’d like to speak with a black vagina first.” Well, LOOK NO FURTHER!

And she’s sassy, just like your black vagina is! OMG you relate to this black hand so much, you spend so much time on your haiiiiiir guuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl! BUT WAIT, YOU’RE SAYING YOU HAVE A LATINA VAGINA? TENEMOS SU VAGINA CUBIERTA TAMBIEN CHICA!

AY YI YI! Our vaginas. Are going to be. So. Clean, you gals!

On a different note, it is incredibly hard for me to make the hand vagina with my own hand. I can’t do it at all. Can you do it? Is there something wrong with my hand vagina?

On ANOTHER different note, what body part do you think they could use as a stand-in for a penis? I can’t think of anything. I’ve really been thinking for too long about it. The difficult part is that there aren’t any other body parts with holes at the end, and the hole is going to have to be the stand in for the mouth. I guess you’d just have to put a CG hole on like an arm making a fist, but it would be difficult. I don’t know, I’m not in advertising. But if they do figure out a penis stand in and they want to make products for cleaning your penis specifically, I have a name for that company. They can call it “Summer’s Steve.” THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY YOU’VE BEEN BEAUTIFUL! (Thanks for the tip, cakeordeath!)

PS: Vertical smile.