Duh Aficionado Magazine: Matt Damon Doesn’t Want To Destroy Sarah Palin’s Children

So, someone has made a documentary about Sarah Palin. Sure! Sarah Palin is a perfectly reasonable subject for a documentary. (And if she decided to take on Steve Wiebe in a time trial to get to the Donkey Kong Jr. “kill screen” can you even imagine? Oscar bait!) On a recent campaign stop, or whatever she is even doing in that bus all the time, which I guess is not officially campaigning, but she is basically campaigning, right? Anyway, at a campaign stop, she went to a screening of this documentary, and this happened:

Sarah Palin stared a bit uncomfortably at a movie screen Tuesday night watching a montage of Matt Damon, David Letterman, Madonna, Howard Stern, Bill Maher, Louis C.K. and other celebrities malign her, then asked The Hollywood Reporter: “What would make someone be so full of hate?”

Palin was in Pella, Iowa, at the premiere of a documentary about her called The Undefeated, which opens with several minutes of Hollywood entertainers using some of the most vulgar language imaginable to express their displeasure with the former vice presidential candidate. Some appear genuinely angry, and director Steve Bannon cuts to news footage twice in the film of Palin being hung in effigy.

“This is the first that I’ve seen much of that. It kind of takes you back,” she told THR. “It makes you want to reach out to some of these folks and say, What’s your problem? And what was the problem? And what is the problem?

“What would make a celebrity, like you saw on screen, so hate someone that they’d seek their destruction, their death, the death of their children? What would make someone be so full of hate and, I guess, a sense of being threatened that they would want to see that person destroyed?”

Oh brother. You know, I can imagine that watching a bunch of people saying really mean things about you in a movie theater full of people would be a pretty weird and possibly even difficult experience, although let’s also remember that watching a bunch of people saying ANYTHING about you in a movie theater full of people because someone MADE A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT YOU is already pretty weird on the old Weird Scale. It’s kind of what she signed up for, though, and happily I might add. Few people outside of reality TV (although don’t forget that she also had a reality show, so not that far outside of reality TV) have taken to the spotlight as quickly and with as much relish as this lady. But there is something about these quotes that is the most frustrating:

YOU ARE NOT A POOR LITTLE INNOCENT VICTIM, YOU WEIRD MONSTER! The reason that we know who Sarah Palin is is because at one point she was RUNNING TO BE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. And despite being so unqualified for the job that it was almost painfully obvious, she exuded as much arrogance about the whole situation as she did ignorance about every other situation. She is very ignorant about stuff! And now, after abdicating the professional responsibilities that put her in a position for us to know about her in the first place in a truly grandstanding and self-congratulatory way, and a whole procession of other CRIMES, she is driving around the world on a bus with her face on it and glad-handing with the dumb dumbs*. She’s a very famous person with a certain amount of genuine influence in this world, so enough with the Alfred E. Newman routine, ma’am.

But also, for someone who has built a national reputation on a platform of hatred, racism, jingoism, and xenophobia, how on Earth is she going to play the “Anti-Hate Card”? That card should not even be in her deck. People hate you because you’re a creep, Sarah Palin, but it is nothing as compared to the political agenda you are putting forward of dragging the United States backwards through the racist mud into some kind of isolationist, Grover Norquist nightmare. And none of the people cited in this documentary want to DESTROY YOUR CHILDREN. That is like one of those things where you say something about someone else that ends up saying a lot more about you than it does them. If anyone knows about setting out to DESTROY people it is the woman who abused her political office and has engaged time and again in the worst kinds of anti-human politics. Come on now, please. Eat your popcorn. Sip your soda. Turn off your cellphone and your tour bus and shut the hell up! You’re ruining the movie everything!

*At this point it seems really cut and dry that if you like Sarah Palin and believe in her personal political philosophy that you are dumb. I’m sorry, I just don’t see it any other way. She is very loud and brassy and obnoxious with very little intellectual grounding for anything that she says. You’re welcome to believe in and support her, it just means you’re dumb, that’s all. Don’t worry, lots of people are dumb!