Duh Aficionado Magazine: Hollywood Preparing An Angry Birds Movie

Hollywood is preparing an Angry Birds movie. NO DOYYYY. To a normal human being, a big-screen adaptation of a cellphone game involving throwing birds into blocks of wood would seem like a ridiculous thing to try and turn into a movie, but you civilians are forgetting one thing that Hollywood has already figured out: people have heard of Angry Birds. So. You know. 100 million dollars. George Clooney is already in talks to star as that one kind of bird that when you tap the screen it changes directions like a boomerang, I’m sure. From thenextweb:

Finnish gaming studio Rovio has announced that it has brought onboard David Maisel, executive producer of blockbuster hits Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger to help build the company’s entertain business and produce its Angry Birds films.

Maisel, the former Chairman of Marvel Studios and leader of Marvel’s acquisition by Disney, will serve as a special advisor to Rovio whilst transitioning the company from a gaming company to move into film and television.

Hey! Here’s an idea, Rovio: why don’t you just KEEP BEING A GAMING COMPANY? The only reason I am saying that is because of how YOU JUST MAKE GAMES and DON’T MAKE FILM AND TELEVISION. It just seems like that is why it might make sense for you to keep making games and to keep not making the things you don’t make. How proud is the guy from Marvel, though, huh? “I was able to adapt long-standing, classic comic book characters with a deep wealth of narrative and dramatic history into movie theaters for a new generation of fans, but I’m just excited to turn that $0.99 game for fucking telephones into a goddamned thing now.” His mom was probably like “That is my baby boy,” and hung his suicide note on the refrigerator. (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)