J.K. Rowling Announces What Pottermore Is Finally

If you’ve been anywhere on the internet in the past week or so, you’ve no doubt seen lots of speculation about what J.K. Rowling’s Pottermore website was actually going to be. Another Harry Potter book? An announcement that you can buy the books again as eBooks, congratulations? A statement confirming the widely* held belief that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all actually the same person, it makes sense if you go back and read the books again with that in mind, they’re never really talking TO each other, oh my goodness, my mind is blown? Or was it going to be some sort of interactive game/online store basically? (Dingdingdingdingdingdingding):

Still kind of confusing, though. So, there are going to be RPG-type games you can play while you read the books, right? And eBooks for you to buy? And information about the world of Harry Potter that J.K. has been “hoarding for years,” take it easy, J.K., it all just comes from your brain? I don’t know. I don’t want to be down on any Potteries, which is what you call yourselves I imagine, but this doesn’t seem that exciting to me. It kind of just seems like an eBook store with a few extras. But I can see how it would be exciting to you, maybe! And a good way to squeeze a little more Harry Potter mania out of the world after the movies are all finished. So, great. I hope you’re excited, genuinely. We only have a couple of years on the planet, we should all be excited about things all the time. Call me when P.G. Wodehouse does this for the world of Jeeves and Wooster or, more honestly, when Amy Sherman-Palladino does this for the world of Gilmore Girls.

*No one holds this belief. (YET.) (The truth is out there.)