[The Hollywood actor, Ian McShane, has a very busy schedule, being a Hollywood actor and everything, so he probably would not have time to sit down with us or answer any of our questions, so we didn’t even bother asking him. This is a fake interview with Ian McShane.]
Videogum: Hi, Ian McShane, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to us for real, this is real, this is definitely happening, so thank you.
Ian McShane: You are real welcome.
Videogum: Can I get you anything? Imaginary coffee or make believe water?
Ian McShane: I’d love some make believe water, actually.
Videogum: OK, just make a cup with your hand.
Ian McShane makes a cup with his hand.
Videogum: That’s really nice object work, Ian McShane.
Ian McShane: I’m a professional actor.
We fill Ian McShane’s hand cup with some dream water.
Ian McShane: Thank you.
Videogum: So, I read recently that you have been cast as a dwarf in an upcoming Snow White movie.
Ian McShane: Yes, it’s very exciting.
Videogum: And very hilarious.
Ian McShane: Excuse me?
Ian McShane: What is hilarious?
Videogum: You playing a dwarf is very very hilarious. I have been laughing about it for, like, two days just thinking about it.
Ian McShane: And what, pray tell, is so funny about it?
Videogum: UH YOUR FACE ON A TINY BODY HAHAHAHAH!
Ian McShane: Sir, I am a classically trained act–
Videogum: Look at my tiny shoes! I am Ian McShane, and I live in the forest! Would you like to solve a riddle and cross my bridge?
Ian McShane: Well, I’m glad you find it so am–
Videogum: Doo-dee-doo-da I’m a dancing little man dancing around the fire. My name is Ian McShane and I have the world’s smallest moustache!
Ian McShane: I don’t have to sit here and–
Videogum: Let me ask you something: to get into character, are you going to live in a gingerbread house made of candy just like a real dwarf? Instead of your car do you just ride around the forest on the back of a wildcat?
Ian McShane: This interview is over.
Videogum: Awww, no! Ian McShane don’t go!
Ian McShane storms out.
Videogum: Ian McShane come back! You forgot your satchel of emeralds! HAHHAHAH! OH NO, IAN MCSHANE, NOW YOU WILL NEVER BREAK THE GOBLIN’S CURSE! Haha. Oh man. Well, I think that went pretty well.