Britney Spears’ New Comedy Video: “I Wanna Go”

Britney Spears’ new video, directed by Chris Marrs Piliero, was released today and it is very strange! Full of clothes from the early ’00s, jokes, and references to Half Baked for some reason. My one complaint (just this one, the rest of what I have is praise) is that it seems like these days every single pop song by a female, this one for example, is about how they’ve spent their whole lives playing by the rules and now they don’t want to play by the rules anymore. Which is a fine enough thing to sing about, I guess, but do we ALL have to sing about it? What is the group of three people who write all the pop songs called, The Matrix? It is, I looked it up on Wikipedia. Well, if The Matrix is reading this: Please write all the pop songs about a different thing, Kelly Conaboy is bored of this thing. Now, for the praise! Just kidding kind of:

Hahah. Uh, what? Why the Terminator robots? Why the safety pins? Why the eye makeup that makes her eyes look like the go down on the sides in a weird way? WHY THE HALF BAKED? Let me stop you before you answer that though, Chris Marrs Piliero, because I don’t actually care why because it is all perfect. Of course robots. Of course Guillermo. When I first saw him I thought to myself, “Why is Guillermo from Weeds in this?” Because I am too dumb to get the jokes in Britney Spears music videos right away. But the thought of a minor character from Weeds being in this video was a lot funnier to me than the thought of the character she references from Half Baked being in this video. Though I do still think that is PRETTY funny! Good one, guys. That movie came out such a long time ago.

Another complaint I have about this video, oops, I thought there was only one but I thought of another, is the implied idea that “the media” really cares about Britney Spears anymore. Nobody does, I don’t think. I haven’t heard any good Britney gossip in what seems like decades. Everyone is pretty uniformly “Leaving Britney Alone” at this point. Which is great. Good for you, Britney. Enjoy your one zillion dollars in peace and please invite me to your future sketch group’s monthly UCB show. I will not attend because I don’t like sketch comedy, but if it’s a Facebook invitation I will click “Maybe Attending.” (Thanks for the tip, Scott!)