Guys, time for some REAL TALK. After the jump is a video of a dog with four prosthetic legs and it is so cute oh my God you don’t even know. He prances around in the grass as if he was a normal dog with for dog legs, but instead his legs are, you know, I don’t know, high-caliber mecha-fiber or something. The point is: awww! This little guy is not letting something like HAVING NO LEGS get him down. He just loves life. And grass. And probably treats. Definitely treats. But here is where the REAL TALK comes in: why? Why does he have four prosthetic legs? Like, OK, I have a dog, OK? She is beautiful. I love her. I hate her, but I also love her. (The reasons for hating her are complicated and it’s between the two of us, and you should stay out of it. Don’t worry, she’s doing great. She’s a real goddamned princess. That is actually part of it.) But, so, as an adult human being living in a modern world, and in particular, living in the New York section of the modern world, you can’t help but have some white liberal guilt about your dog. Admittedly, I have one of the fanciest, most bullshit yuppie brand of dogs there is (dogs come in brands, right?) but even if you rescue a dog from Puerto Rico (oh, I have so much to say about rescuing a dog in New York city, and trust me, it will make your moustachioed head spin right of your neck and fall into the middle of McCarren Park) you still should have a mild discomfort in the fact that we are SURROUNDED by actual living HUMAN BEINGS who do not get nearly the same treatment (TREATment) that our dogs do. These adorable little guys are living high off the hog (and by hog I mean “salmon flavored low-carb organic training-sized treats”) while a man with dignity dies in the road. It’s OK, I mean, the world is a weird and gigantic and very complicated place and things happen. Sometimes you have to have a dog so you don’t feel so sad in your apartment. But do you need to spend one million dollars on FAKE SPACE LEGS for your dog? I don’t know! Maybe you do! I am asking the question!
Check this guy out! He is so adorable and so full of moral quandries!
Awww! So cute! Fuck homeless people*! (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)