Oprah’s Last Show OR Scotty McCreery’s American Idol Win OR Animals Wearing People Clothes!

There were two “important” television events yesterday: the first was Oprah Winfrey’s last show (sort of) after 25 years. I say sort of because the woman DOES have her own entire cable network. It is hardly the last we have seen of her. But it is the end of her long-running daytime talk show. I thought about watching the episode yesterday because it did seem like a whole THING that was of some kind of importance and interest to a lot of human beings, but then I remembered that I don’t really care about Oprah (no offense) and that her show was not made for me (none taken) and that it would just be an hour of my life that I would never get back. I’m sure watching Tom Cruise fake-stoically tell her how much “we” would all miss her would have changed everything for me, really turned my life around. MEANWHILE, Scotty McCreery was named the winner of the 149th season of American Idol! To give you a sense of how much I have been paying attention to that show, I’ve never even heard Scotty McCreery’s name before today. Neat! I’m sure his country-style cover of “Heard It Through the Grapevine” was incredible. Clearly, between these two INCREDIBLE TV MOMENTS, I am not doing my job very well. Tough! You cannot fire someone who has already quit. Congratulations, Kelly, here are the keys to the chocolate factory.

ANYWAY, you guys should feel free to discuss television herstory in the comments, OR you might want to post pictures of animals wearing people clothes. A picture of an animal in people clothes is worth a thousand BLOGS. Either way, up to you. Oprah can’t tell you what to do anymore.