How To Tie Your Shoes Like A Genius

I don’t really understand the TED Conference. What is it? I know that it’s supposed to be the world’s great thinkers providing freeform lectures somewhere in California on topics of their own choosing in order to engender creative thinking, or whatever, I get THAT part, but, like, who goes to this thing? I just imagine a room full of Stephen Hawking clones sitting elbow-to-elbow in a straight line listening to Elizabeth Gilbert talk about being a genius, but that can’t be right. How are you going to get all of the Stephen Hawking clones in the same room? They’re busy doing all of Stephen Hawking’s chores and filling in for Stephen Hawking at work while Stephen Hawking sleeps in! (No joke, though, that Elizabeth Gilbert thing is easily one of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my entire life and I’m pretty sure it single-videohandedly devalues whatever the TED Conference even is.) Anyway, here is a real speech from the TED Conference about how to tie your shoes.

Bartender, a round of Macarthur Grants for my friend here and keep ‘em coming! (It’s cool how I make fun of this video and yet am totally going to start tying my shoes this way and acting like a real Smart Pants.)