But Really, How Gay Is A Sweet-Smelling Jockstrap?

I don’t know about y’all, but I think I like this judge. He manages to roundly offend people across the board, but he probably means well. Maybe I’m just sympathetic to people who try too hard to be funny.

Some people are offended because he is linking homosexuality with child molestation. Other people are offended because he is trying to paint a child molestor as a victim. I’m offended because he is implying that I might be inadvertently sexually assaulting my freshly laundered jockstraps. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

The major point he seems to be trying to make has some validity. He is saying that this guy was molesting boys, so if he’s claiming to be straight, he’s in denial. That doesn’t imply that gay = child molester; it just suggests that child molesters who show a sexual preference have a sexual preference. The major problem with this angle is that some child molesters are indiscriminate and molest children to assert power. I’m willing to give the judge the benefit of the doubt on that point, since it is a safe assumption that he knows the facts of the case better than I do. Still, he comes across as a bit too assertive on this for comfort.

It’s also valid to suggest that spending a lifetime lying to yourself and hiding your sexual nature might cause that nature to express itself in unhealthy and destructive ways. Perhaps this old child-molesting bastard is a victim, but that doesn’t make him the victim. Understanding an abuser doesn’t justify the abuse.

Even so, His Honor needs to work on his material. At the very least, he needs to lose the self-deprecating humor. I’m sure that he looked perfectly lovely in that prom dress.