Didn’t Y’all Learn This In Champagne School?

Honestly, this is just useful. You should probably never be drinking champagne (or any sparkling wine, for that matter) in any situation where you wouldn’t have an iron handy, anyway, so this new champagne-opening development is perfect. So just know that from now on, there will be no more champagne at the following: Weddings, yacht christenings, camping trips with Andy Dwyer, graduation dinners at fancy restaurants and absolutely any spontaneous happy occasion, ever.

Thanks for the tip, Funtastik!