Judging by the weekend releases of Thor and The 5urious 5ive (also, Something Borrowed. For the ladies.) it is clear that SUMMER HAS SPRUNG! Not really, but you can hardly blame Hollywood movie studio executives for not having time to take a break from closing that big deal and peek outside their marble-coated tanning booth/Botox injector/personal cocaine lab to see what season it is and whether or not they should be releasing a particular genre of movies commonly regulated to the summer season. And since the film industry is essentially one inescapably huge publicity machine bent on inducing mass suspension of belief about both what is important and what is possible, we might as well just unthinkingly embrace it. What I’m trying to say is, THE SUMMER MOVIE SEASON IS HERE AT LAST! A time where we can sort of shelve our own artistic integrity and just put our eyeballs on a roller coaster. On Wednesday, Godsauce will give you his Thor review. Until then, let’s just get pumped about this summer’s movie blockbusters!
Personally, I love superheroes, so I’m writing this from the X-Men: First Class and Captain America midnight premiere ticket lines outside my local Fandango. Also, there’s Super 8, which is directed by some no-talent hack and stars a C-lister from a soon-to-be-canceled cable show that has definitely never had me, a grown man, on my feet crying and cheering like a lunatic and it will probably just get ho-hum reviews and fizzle from the public eye without much fuss. Rare miss, Hollywood.
I’ve said my peace and that’s my cue. What a wonderful adventure. Thanks, Scott and Amrit, for fielding all my panicked emails. Thanks, Werttrew, for being a bottomless source of information and encouragement. Thanks, Monsters, for being such cool Internet friends. And thanks, Gabe, for giving us such a great toy in the first place. This corner of the Internet may not look like much, but it’s our corner, and, in some way I don’t really understand, it does matter.
And enough from me. I’m gonna get off the podium and get back with you guys, where the action is. Let’s talk summer movies! Together! Like a family.