This Is Your Adult Bib: The Slobstopper

CORRECTION: bibs ARE just for babies. (And caricatures of Italian-Americans.) But sure. Yes. I mean, let’s be real: this world is full o’ slobs. If the planet is 80% water, then the human population is 90% slobs. (Isn’t that right, CHILD SOLDIERS OF DARFUR? Stupid old child soldier slobs.) And quite frankly, I would rather see someone hosing off their slobstopper in the parking lot than have to sit across from them at the meeting and they’re all covered in gravy. “Has THIS ever happened to you?” Yes. No more gravy shirts! Buy your slobstopper today, you slobs. It’s time to get real about your body and the way you present your body to other people, particularly at meetings.