What Will The Inevitable, Lame, And Obvious Twist Be In The Upcoming Will Smith/Jaden Smith M. Night Shyamalan Movie?

It was reported yesterday that Will and Jaden Smith have both signed on for the next M. Night Shyamalan project. Oh boy. Jaden Smith AND M. Night Shyamalan working on the same movie? This is our generation’s Heat! From Hitfix:

Will Smith and son Jaden Smith will co-star in an untitled sci-fi adventure movie to be directed by M. Night Shyamalan (“The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable”) for Sony Pictures.

The script was co-written by Shyamalan and Gary Whitta (“The Book of Eli”). It takes place 1,000 years in the future, where a boy (Jaden Smith) and his father (Will Smith) travel across a desolate, post-apocalyptic Earth looking for hope after their ship crash-landed there.

Shyamalan added, “The chance to make a scary, science-fiction film starring Jaden and Will is my dream project.”

Haha. Ugh. Aren’t your consistently terrible movies and fake name that you have admitted you just made up bad enough, M. Night Shyamalan, without also being A LIAR? Making a scary science-fiction movie with Jadan Smith is not your dream project. You are a grown man! He is 7-years-old. You did not even know he existed until two years ago. Stupid old liar. ANYWAY, since M. Night Shyamalan wrote this movie you just know it’s going to have a lame and obvious twist in it. So. WHAT’S IN THE HATCH? Here are some possible SPOILERS:

  • Will Smith wakes up and it turns out the whole thing had just been a dream!
  • Jaden Smith wakes up and it turns out the whole thing had just been a dream!
  • Cormac McCarthy wakes up and it turns out the whole thing had just been a lawsuit!
  • Soylent Green is made out of planet of the apes! IT’S MADE OUT OF PLANET OF THE APES!

Can I ask a serious question, though, that is a real question for real: why is M. Night Shyamalan allowed to keep making movies? He is very bad at it! Even White Castle fires its employees when they have proven themselves incompetent. EVEN WHITE CASTLE! (Thanks for the tip, Sean, Drasko, and Octavis.)