Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the Chet Haze Caption Contest winner, and the Guest Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Shepard | Mar 23rd Score:95

LGBTV: Lovers of Glenn Beck Television

Posted in: What Should Glenn Beck Name His Cable Network?
#4 R2D2, Esq. | Mar 23rd Score:100

Dear Gabe,

But he promised he’ll never do it again! You just don’t know him like I do. Sometimes, when we’re alone, he can be so sweet. I really think he’s gonna change this time.

Yours truly,

Good Morning America

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#3 Godsauce | Mar 21st Score:110

I do not doubt that a blogger who asks every other viral video star to be his dad has father issues.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
#2 pennyarcade | Mar 23rd Score:113

“Let’s see…if I just delete “brown” from my username, no one will know it’s me…”

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#1 Steve Winwood | Mar 21st Score:117

here’s what I hate about zack braff: he produced this movie for one reason and one reason only and that was to kiss my future bride natalie portman, who can never be un-kissed by this ugly chinless Mr. Alternative Quirk balls.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State

[Ed. note: This has to be the first time Steve Winwood has gotten the highest rated comment of the week (if not his first time in the Top 5?) Congratulations, Steve Winwood. If you were punk rock and the commenting community was the mainstream, they just bought the rights to use you in a bluejeans commercial!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

chris | Mar 23rd Score:-88
I feel bad for/actually like Chris Brown. I think his anger problems are the result of a rough childhood or something(?) and he’s just no good at handling them, like a lot of people. Plus, he makes some really good songs. No bullshit.
Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation

[Ed. note: Chris, I’m sorry, I honestly don’t think you deserve this position. Your comment was relatively low-key and thoughtful, and despite Chris Brown’s awful behavior, there isn’t anything particularly bad about having sympathy for someone with misogynistic rage issues. Those probably DO come from a traumatic experience in his past! It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but saying that you feel bad for someone who has to struggle with whatever kind of insecurities and personal demons that go along with that seems pretty reasonable to me. Also, Chris Brown HAS recorded some decent songs. He’s a very successful pop musician, and some of that is legitimate. He’s just also a complete fucking nightmare. But Chris’s comment was nothing like, say, this shit. Let’s all keep things in perspective here.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

lawblog | Mar 22nd Score:84

I like Chet Haze, but only iron-ically.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Chet Haze Ironing

[Ed. note: Congratulations, lawblog. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

That One | Mar 23rd Score:32

“Inspiring.” -Hugh Jackman

Posted in: I Ain’t Gonna Pee-Pee My Bed Tonight

[Ed. note: It is a well-known fact that I simply cannot resist a joke about Hugh Jackman peeing his pants. I love ‘em!]