The Greatest Movie Ever Sold Trailer, You Guys

I will see this movie, because I’m running low on anti-Morgan Spurlock sentiment, gotta refill that well, but this movie is all kinds of wrong. First of all, the only thesis statement less in need of proving than “fast food is bad for you” (Supersize Me, 2004) is “corporate advertising is everywhere.” If Morgan Spurlock’s documentaries were a magazine it would put Duh Aficionado out of business. Even more importantly, though, he’s got his math upside down. Because unless I am mistaken, it’s still going to cost me $12 to go see this in the theater, so what the FUCK do I care if the movie was paid for by sponsorship agreements? GET POMEGRANATE JUICE TO BUY MY MOVIE TICKET AND THEN WE WILL TALK ABOUT WHAT A GREAT TRICK YOU HAVE PULLED OFF, SIR. Ugh, and if there is some false drama in this movie where it looks like he’s “not going to be able to finish the film” unless he gets a last minute investment from Sketchers Shape Ups or some shit, I am going to blow my lid! I’m going to blow my lid right off! Ugh. Morgan Spurlock. I hope he gets a Gillette sponsorship to deal with that facial hair. (Ad hominem attacks aren’t very cool, but neither is making a career out of self-aggrandizing condescension, so.)

This post is brought to you by Fandrango.