Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Hey all! Your friendly neighborhood werttrew here, wrapping up the week for you all.

1. Twitter feeds for this week’s guest editors: Mans, Joe Mande, Shellbomber, Starlee Kine, and the Bob’s Burgers team. You can also follow some of the team individually, helpfully listed here by Mike Benner and Scott Jacobson.

2. Don’t forget to RSVP for the Videogum 3rd Anniversary Comedy Show and Also Party.

3. There was no caption contest this week. Bummer. I know you all live for it. So how ’bout an unofficial caption contest for the weekend??

Guys, so as you probably all know because you all live on the Internet, there is a video by a 13-year-old girl named Rebecca Black named “Friday.” It’s basically a vanity music video put out by some company called Ark. Now, it’s silly and insipid and exactly as vapid as every other tween music video out there, but as of last Friday it has gone into stratospheric viral video territory. Even your mom has posted it on her Facebook wall with the caption of “Oh dear! She seems sweet but she should find something else to do! And why isn’t she wearing a seatbelt?!?! LOL (lots of love).”

But I kinda don’t get it? Why this video, Internet? It’s not really so different from a Jessie J or Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber video. Heck, it’s better music than Ke$ha. Internet, y u so obsessed with Rebecca Black?

On the other hand, I found this following video Wednesday and I have become mildly obsessed. (Mildly obsessed = I’ve watched it 12 times now.) It’s so thoroughly weird and outer-worldly and yet catchy? Oh Internet, why hasn’t Adya & Geisha’s “Cherubino’s Aria,” which is like an alternate soundtrack for The 5th Element as filmed by an 80’s publicity team, blown up already? Why aren’t there a billion gifs of this out there? Why hasn’t a fake Neil Young sung his own version of “Cherubino’s Aria”? Where’s the scream-o cover, the dubsteb cover, the Chipmunks version, the Pumpkinhead dance, the slowed-down version?? Sometimes I don’t get you, Lawnmower Man.

So here’s an unofficial weekend caption contest: What do the lyrics of this song mean? No fair if you, like, can actually talk Italy talk and understand it. Warning: May cause seizures.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Guest Editors’ Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Anchor Management | Mar 14th Score:65

Okay, so no one said it yet? Because this thing totally happened:

Werewolf bar mitzvah? Werewolf bar mitzvah.

Posted in: He’s Zack! He’s Wack! Get Used To It!
#4 the hammer is my penis | Mar 14th Score:65

Today’s TMZ headline: “Gwyneth Paltrow, new mystery beau, spotted canoodling at West Hollywood taco stand.”.

Posted in: Hello, My Name Is Doc Hollywood
#2 the narrator | Mar 14th Score:70

Your teenage years seem a lot like a Scooby Doo plot.

Posted in: And Now It Is Time To Rest
#1 Chris Trash | Mar 14th Score:73

Sorry to hear that, that sucks.
I have the same reaction to viral videos since my brother got his head caught in a yogurt cup.

Posted in: When Bad Trampoline Accidents Happen To Good People—One Monster’s Story

[werttrew’s note: Congratulations, monsters. You earned it!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 The N | Mar 14th Score:-66

Your liberal mind needs to grow some balls before it stoically sacrifices itself in the name of women’s rights. This was the worst and least entertaining thing I’ve ever read on this site.

Posted in: What is the HTML for “Vomit”?: A Review of Battle: Los Angeles

[werttrew’s note: Oof, all five of the lowest voted comments this week were from folks criticizing this review (or defending their criticism of this review). Look, we’re all entitled to our own stupid opinions. But I don’t really get the negative reactions the piece elicited. Let me explain: I think of Gabe Delahaye’s comic style as verbally adroit writing where the humor derives from unexpected shifts and a funny indignation at everything stupid in this world. Gabe’s mode is energetic, deriving much of its power from his (real or put-on) anger. In contrast, I think of Mans’ comic style as expertly-crafted writing where the humor derives from these observations that are kinda neutral individually but when read in their totality build to something poignant and wry. Mans’ mode is a bit passive, deriving its power from allowing his readers to build their own inferences from his studiously noncommittal sentences. What I’m saying is that I understand wishing Gabe was writing instead, but if you can’t appreciate how great they BOTH are, then you’re missing out on something awesome.]

Guest Blogger Mans’ Choice

Zachary Fedell | Mar 14th Score:7

Where David Foster Wallace at, String?

Posted in: David Foster Wallace Interview Outtakes

Guest Blogger Shellbomber’s Choice

the hammer is my penis | Mar 16th Score:10

WHAT? Mom told me that took him to a nice rap farm out on the country.

Posted in: All Nate Doggs Go To Heaven

Guest Blogger Starlee Kine’s Choice

flaknitter01 | Mar 17th Score:0

I went to the TAL Fathom Events simulcast in 2009 and was surprised at how blonde you are. In my mind’s eye, you’re Asian. Please pick an avatar so I don’t get confused again…

Posted in: Meet Today’s Guest Blogger: Starlee Kine

[werttrew’s note: FYI: I had told all five guests this week that they could submit an Editor’s Choice if they’d like, but that it was purely optional. Some chose not to participate, which is perfectly all right! But just in case you were wondering why there’s not five.]