I’ve just started on Season Two of Skins (British version obviously.) I realize I’m late to the game, but not extraordinarily so. Like, I’m still meeting people who are either willing to talk at length with me about it or who haven’t watched any of it yet. After this, I’ll move onto Downton Abbey. I’ve been told I can polish that off in a day, if I work really hard at ignoring the rest of my life. I’ve been told to watch Peep Show but I’m not positive it’s for me. Which is different than saying it’s not good. I’m sure it’s good. You see the difference, right?

While I still have some time here, I’d like to just throw out there a nominee for the new British television show that Americans should be getting obsessed with. I’ve already seen it but I’d be willing to watch it again. For the good of my country.

The show is called Cracker. I’m positive some of you have heard of it. But I want you ALL to have heard of it. I want the Glee kids to be dropping references about it. I want it to be a new expression. I want everyone to be saying, “Oh, I just crumbled a cracker in my mouth” instead of “I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.” Mainly because I will do ANYTHING to make people stop saying that latter expression, even if it involves dedicating the rest of my life to making you love a show about a sweaty, British, drunken, gambling addict criminal psychologist, who is nonetheless a totally appealing character. (True story: Last weekend I met a guy…not a GUY guy, just a male human…and the subject of marriage came up. Like I said, apropos of not much, “How do you feel about marriage?” And he said, “I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.” It was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me and that will ever happen to me. Even if, say, my dog were to die in the future, which he won’t, he’s going to live forever even if I have to zombify him to make that happen, but if he WERE, having heard someone put those two sentiments together in one sentence would still have been worse.)

Cracker is played by Robbie Coltrane, who is the Brit’s version of both Oliver Platt and James Gandolfini. They have to consolidate their actors there. He also plays Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies. If you’ve only seen him in those, you’re going to have a hard time believing how charming he can be. Which is very.

The show is full of cliffhangers and dark turns. You can definitely binge on it, just stuff it in your brain like a bag of M&M’s. I feel like if we all work together, the entire country could have watched the entire series by this summer. Then we could all meet up somewhere…like at the mall or the state of Wisconsin…and talk about it freely, without having to worry about spoilers. If you think summer is too optimistic, I’m willing to compromise. We could shoot for early fall. Whatever it takes.