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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

And thus ends Charlie Sheen week. I’m exhausted, is anyone else exhausted? I think it stopped being fun sometime early Wednesday when the reports about his children getting taken away from him started circulating, because at the end of the day, we are winning talking about a deeply disturbed drug addict with a long history of violence against women. With young children. In his house. Full of prostitutes. (Admittedly, the things that this deeply disturbed, misogynistic drug addict SAYS are still pretty hilarious. Tiger blood! Too much, man!) Obviously, for some people Charlie Sheen Week is just beginning. That is how the Internet goes. Expect an email from your mom to Charlie Sheen’s Twitter in 6-8 months. But for us, we are done here. Thank goodness. And oh look, it is the weekend, and not a moment too soon!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Paula Deen Ride a Dude/Things Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 facetaco | Feb 28th Score:89

Today. It was just this morning. Charlie Sheen did it.

Posted in: Charlie Sheen Does The Morning Shows! Still Completely Bonkers!
#4 tiredandwired | Mar 2nd Score:93

“I’m not a baby person” – Baby Friday

Posted in: Oh Man, This Dude Has No Idea
#1 That One | Feb 28th Score:131

“Knock Knock?”

“Who’s there?”

“9/11.”

“9/11 who?”

“You swore you’d never forget.”

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me

[Ed. note: As you can see, the winner of the Caption Contest (and the runner-up of the Caption Contest) both made it into the Top 5, so this is their special mention. Congratulations, Ian. You earned it! Runner-up congratulations, kittensmash. You runner-up earned it!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Sam Spahn | Mar 3rd Score:-53
Actually Never Nude is a real anxiety disorder! Gymnophobia. Oh that Arrested Development always making fun of the mentally ill. AD isn’t funny the second time you watch it, like Seinfeld. Can we please embrace Arrested Development as the piece of S#it that David Cross has always been telling us it is?
Posted in: Dear TLC, “Never Nudes” Are Not A Thing

[Ed. note: First of all, give me a break. Yes, there are people who have a phobia of nudity, just as there are people who have a phobia of every possible thing you could think of, but that doesn’t make the sitcom joke term “never nude” a real thing. And to then make the leap that Arrested Development was making fun of the mentally ill is actually retarded. (Get it?) I mean, you have to be joking. But I think the real reason you got downvoted is for your criticism of that show, and while I personally think it is a very funny show and not a piece of shit, I can totally understand you not liking it what with the whole everyone is entitled to their opinion thing. But it’s probably a mistake to try to rally the troops on this one. Better luck next time, o’ captain my captain!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

[Ed. note: This week’s Editor’s Choice goes to Topher Grace for his very first Funny or Die Tweet. Expertly played, sir. I editor’s ch-ch-ch-chooose you.]