Dear TLC, “Never Nudes” Are Not A Thing

Videogum reader Yael sent in a Craigslist ad posted by TLC looking to cast people on the second season of its nightmare show, My Strange Addiction. If you haven’t watched it, My Strange Addiction is a show about people who COMPULSIVELY EAT TOILET PAPER, for example. Although, the one time I actually DVR’ed the show was because the episode description promised to depict the sordid story of a woman who was ADDICTED TO VENTRILOQUISM, which I guess it did, but I found the whole thing to be kind of boring. Admittedly, she was spending thousands of dollars that she did not have every month on DOLL CLOTHING, but still. There weren’t any fireworks! And you cannot overdose on puppets so there wasn’t even a chance of seeing a live, televised death. Snore. Hey, here’s a fun fact: the letters TLC used to stand for “The Learning Channel.” Neat!

Anyway, their latest Craigslist casting call is looking for people to be on the show who suffer from being a “never nude.” Uh, wait a second. Wait. You mean, like, the thing that David Cross’s character Tobias Funke was on Arrested Development (2003-2006)? Because, uh, THAT IS NOT A THING. Full casting call for “never nudes” posted after the jump:

I mean, I am sure that there are people who refuse to get naked in public. Obviously. There are people who COMPULSIVELY EAT TOILET PAPER. We come in all shapes and sizes and some of those shapes and sizes are tucked snugly into a pair of denim shorts at all times. But you can’t just throw the term “never nude,” a recurring joke from a short-lived and relatively “fringe” sitcom, around like you just got back from an edit session on the new edition of the DSMIV. This is a craigslist casting call for a garbage reality show! Take it seriously!