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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

At the risk of overdoing it, can we please just revisit a couple of these Charlie Sheen quotes because I am telling you, gold like this does not come along that often.

“People are mystified by this odyssey that refuses to quit calling itself Charlie Sheen.”
“I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
“Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”
“It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don’t have time for these clowns.”
“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”
“Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh bye.”
“I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
“I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get slaughtered. That’s where you get embarrassed. From the prom queen.”
“I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”

I think that radio host was right. If anything, Charlie Sheen is TOO clean. After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Gary Busey Caption Contest, and the Guest Editors’ Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#4 thepurplemonk | Feb 23rd Score:101

See, this is why I proposed to my girlfriend drunk and naked after sex. I had a mask on, so all the strangers around me couldn’t see how devastated I was when she ran out of the room.

Posted in: This Is Your Food Court Marriage Proposal
#3 paperstreetsoap | Feb 22nd Score:101

Come sail away with us, Tommy. For ever, and ever, and ever

Posted in: “Come Sail Away” With Lexy And Stephany
#2 principal enchman | Feb 21st Score:104

Is it just a coincidence that the first day after “Guest Blogger week” the WMOAT is “I’m Still Here”? And on top of that, next week’s is “Remember Me.”

I’m starting to worry about Gabe, you guys.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: I’m Still Here

[Ed. note: This is as reasonable of a time/place as any to just say thank you to everyone for treating last week’s guest bloggers with the respect that they deserved, and for keeping a steady stream of comments going all week long. It seems like everyone had a lot of fun, which is as it should be. That is just what teams do. They win! Winning. Rhymes with winning? That’s us. Sorry, didn’t make the rules. Oops!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

unionman | Feb 24th Score:-39
The issue here not whether or not abortion is murder, or even bad at all. In this case the GOP is not trying to limit a woman’s choice of how to proceed with or even end a pregnancy. They are just trying to curtail(of maybe just end entirely) government funding for abortions, and in this case I am completely on board.

I am all for a woman or a couple’s right to choose to have an abortion but I am also all for the taxpayers not paying for it. Far too many people use abortion as a form of birth control.

Why can’t individuals or charities pay for them?

Posted in: This Is Just A Very Good Speech About Abortion Funding

[Ed. note: Sorry, but that’s just garbage. It’s actually kind of the most garbage? Like, I’m willing to accept that some people feel very strongly that abortion is wrong, which is a pretty cut-and-dry stance to have. But when you start getting into people’s personal disagreements about federal funding, the whole thing collapses, because guess what: the United States government is HUGE and it spends TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS and many of those dollars goes to SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. That’s just not how you get to play it. Add to that the fact that the only people who receive any kind of federal money to help subsidize their abortions are primarily poor people and what you are actually saying is that you don’t have a problem with abortion, you just don’t think poor people should be allowed to have them. Gross! But maybe the worst position you take is that many people use it as birth control. OOF. You’re joking, right? I won’t disagree that some people play very fast and loose with their reproductive capacity, which sometimes results in having to make a choice that for some might seem easier than it is others, but the idea that people are having unprotected sex because they just can’t wait to get another abortion is straight-up clownish and borderline “she was dressing like she wanted to be raped” thinking.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Dusky Panther | Feb 22nd Score:69

Admittedly, I need to stop doing this. Then again, these pictures need to stop being PERFECT FOR IT.

sigh… enhance…

“We’re with Busey.”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Gary Busey And His Family

[Ed. note: Congratulations, Dusky Panther. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

lawblog | Feb 23rd Score:31

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in: I DECLARE AN END TO “FAKE!”

[Ed. note: If there is one thing that I know I can always count on, it is you guys.]