Videogum

That’s Your Girlfriend: This 5-Year-Old

“I’m kind of old fashioned. Like, I wouldn’t mind having a wife at home whose job was just to take care of the house and the kids, and pursue whatever kind of hobbies or personal interests that caught her attention at any given time. Please understand, it’s not out of some kind of chauvinist competitive gender normative thing. It’s more, like, I like the idea of really being able to provide for my loved ones and giving them the opportunity to not have to go into some office every day, or whatever. That’s all! That being said, I’m also totally into self-actualized women who know what they want and who have deep and fulfilling lives outside of our relationship. I think that’s important! (That was kind of my point about the whole hobbies and interests stuff: you can have an important personal life without having a job, can’t you? Isn’t that kind of the dream?) So if I meet a girl who is really serious about her career who would want to pursue a future together with that same intensity but without sacrificing the life she’s built on her own, then obviously I am all for it. Oh, there is one thing, though: she has to be five-years-old. Yeah, no, sorry. What can I say?! I’m old enough now that I just know what I want. And what I want is a careerist five-year-old wife.”

-You

Awwww. IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RINGPOP ON IT. (Via EpicPonyz.)