Hi friends! Some of you guys might already know me from writing Gleecaps, horny movie reviews, and Top Model recaps (back in 1992) for Videogum. A lot of you probably don’t know me yet, though, because what I tend to write about is hideous garbage that can only be enjoyed if you’re EXACTLY LIKE ME. But, I’ll do my best to take the dick out of my mouth for today’s big task: write this whole fucking website or something? Yoof, gr8. When Hard Gabe asked if I was up to the task I said YES YES YES, then spent a couple weeks sweating my underwear see-through. But, whatever — live free or die hard, shit or get off the Videogum, we have nothing to fear but work herself. So, please put your prescription glasses on and read along with JOYFORGIVENESS in your <3. It’ll be fun!
Oh, doy, and I’m on Twitter if you want today to last FOREVER.