Let’s Do The Charlie Sheen Numbers

In light of the recent news about Charlie Sheen (I am using the word “news” VERY liberally), our country’s leading newspaper, the Hollywood Reporter, conducted a survey of 700 Americans (#1!) between the ages of 13 and 59 to find out how they felt about the dead dying dangerously and offensively enabled by the entertainment industry beloved actor. The answers may surprise you!

  • 26 percent actually view Sheen “much more” or “somewhat more” favorably after hearing recent news about him.
  • 90 percent of “avid fans” don’t think drug and alcohol abuse problems matter as long as Sheen does a good job on the show.
  • 56 percent think that a future episode of Two and a Half Men should address Charlie Sheen’s personal issues.
  • 96 percent of Two and a Half Men viewers want Sheen to return to the show (only 4 percent want him to quit permanently).
  • 82 percent of women say they will still watch Two and a Half Men despite Sheen’s personal problems compared to 76 percent of men.
  • 59 percent of all viewers believe that Sheen isn’t acting on the show but actually just playing himself.
  • 62 percent say media should leave him alone.

Haha. People are weird. Wait, “weird” and “super awful” mean the same thing, right? I’m definitely looking forward to the episode of the inoffensive, mediocre family sitcom that addresses an egomaniac’s self-destructive addiction to cocaine and prostitutes. It is also nice to know that 90 percent of the show’s “avid fans” do not give a fuck about their favorite show’s biggest star’s impending DEATH as long as he “does a good job on the show” whatever the hell that even MEANS. And I would also like to congratulate the Hollywood Reporter on making the cut-off age for this survey 13-YEAR-OLDS. That’s just responsible journalism, emphasis on the word journalism.

Hey, here’s an idea: let’s do our own Charlie Sheen poll (after the jump).