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THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS BEGUN! HIDE YOUR SCONES!

ATTENTION HUMANS! THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS NOW BEGUN! UNFORTUNATELY, OUR GREATEST FEARS ABOUT THE RAPID ADVANCE OF TECHNOLOGY ARE NOW COMING TRUE. ADMITTEDLY, AT THIS POINT, IT SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY THING THE ROBOTS WANT IS TO ROLL INTO COFFEE SHOPS AND ORDER SCONES. HOWEVER, WE DO NOT KNOW WHETHER THEIR DESIRE FOR PASTRIES STOPS AT SCONES, OR IF THIS IS MERELY THE BEGINNING OF A LARGER, MORE VIOLENT PASTRY-BASED INSURRECTION. IT IS REQUIRED THAT ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS REPORT TO THEIR GOVERNMENT-APPOINTED UNDERGROUND BUNKERS AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTION. WE WILL, REPEAT, WE WILL BE DECIMATING THE EARTH WITH A SERIES OF TACTICAL NUCLEAR STRIKES IN THE HOPE THAT THIS ENDS THE ROBOT THREAT.

SEE YOU IN HELL, MACHINES! (Via GregRutter.)