Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

What a week, you guys. It has been so cold and snowy, and obviously the whole Charlie Sheen thing, which I think has us all a little bit on edge these days. Come on, Charlie Sheen. Don’t you see what you are doing to CBS’s shareholders? Otherwise, I think that’s about it. I haven’t heard about anything else going on in the world that seems in the least bit overwhelming and emotionally exhausting and like one of those things that reminds you of how lucky you are to live in a country that despite its problems of which there are many is still quite peaceful and incredibly affluent and mostly a pretty nice place to live. I haven’t seen anything going on anywhere that helps put one’s personal problems into perspective and makes you feel grateful and remember that you aren’t a hero just for making it through the work week which it’s not like that’s something you don’t already kind of know but sometimes it does feel that way. I think it’s just Charlie Sheen and the moist-maker and that’s about it. Mostly I just feel sorry for US, you know? That it wasn’t Friday sooner? I don’t need easy, I just can’t have so hard. WEEKEND.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Modern Family Kids SAG Awards Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 the hammer is my penis | Feb 3rd Score:82

Tiny Ant Detective #1 : “He’s dead sir. Looks like he was stomped to death by that little girl up there.”

Tiny Ant Detective #2: “How could she do this to an innocent bug? Doesn’t she have a conscience?”

Tiny Ant Detective #3: “Well, she may not have a conscience. But she definitely has this murder…

*tiny ant sunglasses*

“… on her sole.”


Posted in: Breaking Ant News: Have You Seen This Ant Murderer?
#4 jar krenshaw | Feb 2nd Score:89

you’re gonna argue with the guy in the 3000 dollar suit, i mean C’MON

Posted in: Bill O’Reilly Would Like To Know Where The Moon Came From, Please
#3 thekelburrows | Feb 2nd Score:94

Snakes on a Plane: Snakes on a plane.

Posted in: Best New Party Game 46: Honest Taglines
#2 Godsauce | Feb 2nd Score:94

If the moon were made of barbeque spare ribs, would you eat it? …I know I would. Heck, I’d have seconds. And then polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser. But who put the Budweiser there? I mean c’mon.

Posted in: Bill O’Reilly Would Like To Know Where The Moon Came From, Please
#1 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 31st Score:104

Better movie? Better movie.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Eat, Pray, Love

[Ed. note: We are the real heroes.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

RTony | Jan 31st Score:-17
Posted in: The Brazilian Cab Driver With The Golden Voice!

[Ed. note: -17? That’s the lowest rated? Aww. Probably about as close to peace on Earth as this world ever will see.]

This Week’s Caption Contest

itsahotdog! | Feb 1st Score:124

To combat early childhood depression, Gwyneth Paltrow suggests winning a SAG award.

Posted in: The Videogum “Why Don’t YOU Caption It?” Contest: Modern Family SAG Awards Doll Fight

[Ed. note: Congratulations, It’s a Hot Dog. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

[Ed. note: The prophecy is true! Also this prophecy: honorable mention.]