Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kevin Smith Still Doesn’t Know Anything About Business

Professional airplane-get-kicked-off-er, Kevin Smith, premiered his new movie Red State at the Sundance Film Festival this year, along with his novel method for distributing the film. Well, first he had a fake auction? But it was a joke? So he burned all the SUITS! Haha. Take that, SUITS! I guess instead of selling the movie to a movie company he’s going to post it in five-minute installments on Twitter or something. Anyway, in light of this “controversy,” the Hollywood Reporter Weekend Magazine–which, incidentally, SURPRISE, the Hollywood Reporter has a weekend magazine!–has a lengthy article and interview with him, including this quote (which actually comes from his fake auction at Sundance where he said this right to the SUITS’ faces!):

“I never wanted to know jack shit about business,” Smith said. “Ladies and gentleman, I’m a fat, masturbating stoner. … If somebody told me all the stupid, horseshit, soul-killing, uncreative, backwards-ass bullshit business that I now have in my head … It’s too much f—in’ horseshit.”

Uh, you still don’t know anything about business, Kevin Smith? I’m not saying that in a mean way, I’m just saying, like, just because you learned what a movie poster is before you put on your NICEST hockey jersey and your FORMAL jorts doesn’t make you some kind of worker drone, slogging through the mines of Money City. What are you even talking about? The fat, masturbating stoner thing, I GET. The rest of it is just like, uh, ease up. You live in a mansion built on a foundation of boner jokes and spend all day writing Tweets about your wife’s taint. Your idea of dressing up is putting on socks before you put on your checkered Vans. Do you even know HOW to tie a tie? Business. Ha! Mogul get emotional. WHO MOVED KEVIN SMITH’S CHEESE?! LITERALLY!!!!!