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The 2011 Razzie Award Nominees Are Announzzzzzzzzzzz

If the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards and all those other self-serving awards shows are lavish events created for an already self-congratulatory industry to congratulate itself publicly, at least they have a reason for existing. Everyone has a glass of champagne and makes fun of each other’s dress on a blog, there’s a limousine blowjob I’M SURE, and at some point 10 million dollars changes hands in some hotel room or something and we move on with our lives. What, then, is the point of the Razzies? I do not know! Admittedly, on almost every single level, you would think that the Razzies would appeal to me. I watch a lot of terrible movies, I enjoy making fun of people, I appreciate parody, and who doesn’t love statuettes? But what are the stakes? Does anyone REALLY care if the little boy from The Last Airbender beats out the entire cast of Sex and the City 2 for Stupidest Kiss? Also, and please know that I know it sounds weird when I say it, but the whole thing seems a little bit MEAN. (I know that this is like the blog pot calling the awards kettle mean, but kettles ARE black, you guys. FACT.) The real issue, I suppose, is that at the end of the day, if I don’t care about the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards (or the Film Critics Awards, or the MTV Movie Awards, or the Emmys, or the Grammys, or the Country Music Awards, or the Cannes Film Festival Jury Prizes, or one million other things like this) then how am I supposed to care about a fake one? DO YOU HEAR ME, SLAMDANCE? YOUR GIFTING SUITES ARE BUNK!

Whatever. The nominees after the jump. SPOILER ALERT they are all terrible.

WORST PICTURE
The Bounty Hunter
The Last Airbender
Sex and the City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck

WORST ACTOR
Jack Black / Gulliver’s Travels
Gerard Butler / The Bounty Hunter
Ashton Kutcher / Killers and Valentine’s Day
Taylor Lautner / Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Valentine’s Day
Robert Pattinson / Remember Me and Twilight Saga: Eclipse

WORST ACTRESS
Jennifer Aniston / The Bounty Hunter and The Switch
Mylie Cyrus / The Last Song
Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis & Cynthia Nixon / Sex & the City 2
Megan Fox / Jonah Hex
Kristen Stewart / Twilight Saga: Eclipse

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jessica Alba / The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day
Cher / Burlesque
Liza Minnelli / Sex & the City 2
Nicola Peltz / The Last Airbender
Barbra Streisand / Little Fockers

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Billy Ray Cyrus / The Spy Next Door
George Lopez / Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine’s Day
Dev Patel / The Last Airbender
Jackson Rathbone / The Last Airbender and Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Rob Schneider / Grown Ups

WORST EYE-GOUGING MIS-USE Of 3-D
Cats & Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore
Clash of the Titans
The Last Airbender
Nutcracker 3-D
Saw 3-D (aka Saw VII)

WORST SCREEN COUPLE / WORST SCREEN ENSEMBLE
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler / The Bounty Hunter
Josh Brolin’s Face & Megan Fox’s Accent / Jonah Hex
The Entire Cast of The Last Airbender
The Entire Cast of Sex & The City 2
The Entire Cast of Twilight Saga: Eclipse

WORST DIRECTOR
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer / Vampires Suck
Michael Patrick King / Sex & The City 2
M. Night Shyamalan / The Last Airbender
David Slade / Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Sylvester Stallone / The Expendables

WORST SCREENPLAY
The Last Airbender, Written by M. Night Shyamalan, based on the TV series created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Brian Konietzko
Little Fockers, Written by John Hamburg and Larry Stuckey, based on Characters Created by Greg Glenna & Mary Roth Clarke
Sex & the City 2, Written by Michael Patrick King, Based on the TV Series Created by Darren Star
Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, Based on the Novel by Stephenie Meyer
Vampires Suck, Written by Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL
Clash Of The Titans
The Last Airbender
Sex & The City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck

Good luck to all the nominees? Or what? Bad luck? Who cares. (Via /Film.)