Building A Better Oprah Secret

I guess Oprah has a secret? Who doesn’t! Even the Presidents have secrets, and they have kept them in a secret book that no one knows about. LET’S GET THAT BOOK! Anyway, Oprah’s secret is out and SPOILER ALERT: it’s kind of boring. From Zap2It (via ONTD)

Last week Oprah Winfrey revealed that on Monday’s show (Jan. 24), she would be sharing with her audience a big family secret that she says “literally shook me to my core.” Now we know what that secret is.

According to Robert Feder’s Chicago Tribune blog, the secret is that Kitty Kelley, Oprah’s unauthorized biographer, uncovered a secret half-sister who was given up for adoption before Oprah was born.

Oprah’s mother, Venita, gave birth to a daughter, Bunny, who she “gave away shortly after she was born because she couldn’t afford to take care of her.” Bunny, who is now a grandmother, and Oprah will meet each other for the first time on Monday’s show.

That’s it? I mean, that is definitely an interesting secret if you ARE Oprah (or her half-sister). Otherwise, it kind of just seems like none of our business. And even though we all have secrets and who doesn’t love a secret, it’s not like we can all relate to that thing where it turns out you had a sibling you never knew about but also you happen to be an incredibly famous billionaire with her own television network and so it’s really awkward when you meet for the first time on your own syndicated talk show. That’s not how most secrets work. I don’t think? Maybe I’m the weird one here. That’s probably it. In any case, I feel really confident that we can build a better Oprah secret (she is a replicant, Gayle is a replicant, this is all just Oprah’s shared dream-state but she wants to wake up now, etc).

So, let’s.