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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Remember this moment, you guys. Hold it in your hearts. When it is the middle of July and your face is literally melting off of your head and you think to yourself, just this once, I would like to be physically comfortable in my own body and wear clothing that doesn’t make me look like someone who accidentally walked into a wet t-shirt contest and barely escaped with their dignity, remember that once upon a time you were up to your neck in so much winter that you wanted to die. Unless, of course, you live in California. Or anywhere in the south really. Or the tropics. If you live in one of those places, congratulations on not even knowing what it is like to be human. WE UP HERE LIVING THIS. (Goodnight thanks.)

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Shirtless Regis Philbin at the Hospital Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 topknot | Jan 20th Score:78

Ironically, the text she recieved said “Watch where U R walking.”

Posted in: BREAKING NEWS: WOMAN WHO FELL INTO FOUNTAIN WHILE TEXTING EXPLAINS WHAT HAPPENED AND ALSO CRIES IMPORTANT NEWS NEWS NEWS
#4 Steve Winwood | Jan 17th Score:83

For Whom The Blog Trolls

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Lovely Bones
#3 Notsewfast | Jan 18th Score:85

Even if skins didn’t translate well, you have to admit that the US version of Monty Python’s Flying Circus is pretty great.

Posted in: MTV’s Adaptation Of Skins Is Terrible
#2 Clambone | Jan 20th Score:88

“Where there was only one set of footprints, you had fallen into a fountain while texting.”

Posted in: BREAKING NEWS: WOMAN WHO FELL INTO FOUNTAIN WHILE TEXTING EXPLAINS WHAT HAPPENED AND ALSO CRIES IMPORTANT NEWS NEWS NEWS
#1 the hammer is my penis | Jan 20th Score:92

While visiting his dad on set, Chet Hanks stopped to give a shout out to all his knitters.

Posted in: Tom Hanks? More Like Tom PRANKS!

[Ed. note: It’s the middle of January, you guys. Let’s just huddle in here together for warmth. And/or cut each other open and live in each other’s guts.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Mike Robertson | Jan 14th Score:-15
Beauty pageant?

Oh man. They got a long way to go with that kid.

One word: UGMO.

Just sayin’.

Posted in: This Is Your Eyebrow Waxing Appointment: 5-Year-Old’s Eyebrow Waxing Appointment

[Ed. note: Haha. BOOM. You nailed that 8-year-old child dead to rights. Classic. Fuck her and her horrible face. (I am seriously not one to talk, as this week I finally made it publicly known that I hate Matty B. A child! A public declaration of disgust with a child! Downvote.)]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

thekelburrows | Jan 19th Score:59

It’s a new dawn

It’s a new day

It’s a new life

For me

And I’m Philbin good

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Shirtless Regis Philbin At The Hospital

[Ed. note: Congratulations, thekelburrows! You earned it.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

[Ed. note: DING DONG!]