A Brief Note On The Subway Rat Video

You’ve probably already seen today’s HOT BUZZ, which is a cameraphone video of a rat running wild on a New York subway train, and eventually waking up a homeless man by JUMPING ONTO HIS SLEEPING FACE. Eeek. Today we are all school marms standing on our desks, because that shit is nasty. Here’s the thing about that video, though: the rat is just being a rat. Not much you can do about those guys. Very into being rats, always. But what’s up with THE DUDE SHOOTING THE VIDEO? Like, OK, the rat is all running around being a total rat and you’re just like “gotta get this dude, give me your phone, this is hilarious, bro” (also: NICE WATERMARK, VAN GOGH) but then the rat jumps up on the homeless dude’s face, right, and you’re like “OH SHIT, DON’T SAY ANYTHING LET’S JUST CAPTURE MOTHER NATURE AT WORK ON THIS F TRAIN,” and then the rat runs off as rats do, and you TURN BACK to the homeless guy? For what? To see if his face melted off? To see if he wants to talk to you about how the moment made him feel? To put him in a macaroni commercial? LOOKS LIKE THERE WERE TWO RATS ON THE TRAIN TODAY. Put your phone down, coward.

The only way this is acceptable is if, and this probably IS what happened, that homeless man turned out to actually be Cloverfield. (Via everywhere.)