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The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Now With Improved Mythology

For a long time, I have compared the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time to the myth of Sisyphus, who was condemned to forever push the same boulder up the same mountain, only to have it roll back down to the bottom after each arrival at the summit. But that metaphor is incorrect. For one thing, as the philosopher Camus pointed out, this myth represents the absurdity of life, and as such, we “must imagine Sisyphus as happy,” because he has been stripped of hope and is entirely aware of his horrible fate, and it is in this awareness that he can find some solace that his position is no better and no worse than anyone else’s. You can see where this just falls apart for me. No, the Hunt for the Worst Movie of all Time is more like the myth of Prometheus, who was tied to a boulder (always with the boulders, huh, myth-heads?) for all of eternity as eagles ate his liver. Every time the eagles finished, his liver would grow back, and those eagles would just eat that new liver all over again. Ouch! One does not have to imagine Prometheus as happy, because he was not. He had a raw deal. (NOTE TO SELF: don’t steal fire from Zeus. Just get some matches from a restaurant or something. Ding dong. I’m an idiot!)

Guys, meet my newest liver:

Lovely Bones
The Quiet
Eat, Pray, Love
Splice
I’m Still Here
Remember Me
The Bucket List
Garden State

Enjoy, BLASTED EAGLES!