Posthumous Michael Jackson Video Featuring Akon And Immeasurable Sadness

I’m sort of willing to accept the fact that music is released posthumously, although there’s obviously something mildly creepy about it. And it’s pretty sad. And not just sad because they’re dead but sad because the music is DOUBLE bad. You know how the music of aging pop stars just gets progressively worse and worse as they fall ever further from the exciting spark that drove them into the sky in the first place? It just becomes this lazy, phoned in old person thing dripping with satisfaction and disinterest, probably recorded in some mansion basement somewhere, who even knows which mansion at this point, and even the artist doesn’t seem to understand why exactly they’re making another record except that that is what bought the basement in the first place so it just seems necessary at this point? You know what I mean? Now imagine they’re dead. Eek. Like, at the very least, the aging pop star selects the best of his or her terrible music to release for no good reason, but a dead pop star’s posthumous songs are the ones that even they were like “Let’s leave this one in the can.” Michael Jackson, rest in peace, but Michael Jackson at the height of an inhuman liquid-painkiller addiction, lying around in the wreckage of a shattered mind was like “We don’t need to put this song out, you guys, even I can see that.” That’s the way that it’s sad. But I get it. The artist is gone, and the artist’s fans want anything they can get their hands on, even sub-par mansion basement b-side outttakes. Fair enough. But a music video? Now we are just being morbid.

“What’s so morbid about it? I think it’s going to be dope!” Shut up, Akon.

Oh, here’s another thought real quick: if you ARE going to release a posthumous song from a dead international pop star whose passing seemed like kind of a big deal for a lot of people, how about you use all of your years of ProTools experience to figure out some kind of crazy workaround so that the first line of the song isn’t “This life doesn’t last forever.” YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD GRIEF. Also: does the video HAVE TO include little children? They were not even alive when Michael Jackson was good, what do they care about Michael Jackson? He raped them, remember? You’re just digging up dirt, music video. Cut it out.