David Arquette IS Dirt Squirrel

Um. So. Videogum reader (and former programmer) Jim sent in a link to a Tumblr posting that reads the following:

In 2005, David Arquette had a passion project that he (inexplicably) made into a Fox pilot called Dirt Squirrel, where he starred as a Squirrel-man hybrid crime fighter (only sort of, though), and it was completely insane. It didn’t get picked up because it made absolutely no sense and was unfunny in every way, unless you count ironically. Here is the precursor to that pilot, a short presentation mixing live action with animation that contains almost no jokes.

Sure. Normal enough. David Arquette’s passion project DIRT SQUIRREL. Why not? Jim did some more digging and found the official Dirt Squirrel IMDB page and also a press release that includes this pretty hilarious description of the origins of Dirt Squirrel:

Dirt Squirrel, written by Arquette and Ben Joseph, was inspired by a game that Arquette used to play as a boy with his father called “Animal Transformation,”‘ in which participants take on the characteristics of a particular animal but maintain their human form and act out scenarios in random settings like a bus station.

Haha. I don’t think “bus station” is that random of a setting. I’m pretty sure bus station is literally the PERFECT PLACE to play “Animal Transformation” with your dad. I would have loved to have been in the development meeting where David Arquette explained the very weird game that he used to play with his father and how that is where he got the brainstorm for the new hit show: Dirt Squirrel.

All of this is very amusing until you see an actual clip. Then, ah-not-ah-so-much:

“If at all possible, I’d love to just get the green light from you guys based on a verbal pitch. Obviously, I’ll definitely shoot a pilot that will knock your socks off, but if we can just get things into production as quickly as possible, I’ve already told you about “Animal Transformation,” and as I mentioned, the titular character Dirt Squirrel WILL be joined by two teenagers in his battles against cartoons, so as you can see, the timing is absolutely perfect and we have to strike while the iron is HUH?”


David Arquette should seriously take some of his Scream 2 money and get the wing of a hospital named after him, and then he should CHECK HIMSELF INTO THAT HOSPITAL. This is nuts. HAHA GET IT? Let me know if you get it.