How Should They Update The Wizard Of Oz For Today’s Very Cool Youth?

Deadline Hollywood is reporting that Warner Bros and Robert Zemeckis are moving forward with a remake of The Wizard of Oz. Cool! Good thinking, everyone involved. “Is there a single reason that anyone in this room can possibly think of why this would not be a really good idea?” SILENCE, I’M SURE. (Dear Hollywood, hang yourself.) Anyway, if Hollywood is going to remake The Wizard of Oz for the current crop of VERY COOL kidz (and so confident!) they’re going to need some advice, because if there is one thing that Hollywood gets wrong, it’s everything. Here are some ideas for how to make The Wizard of Oz more appealing to a generation of people who are JACKED IN:

  • Ruby heelies
  • Free Wifi throughout the Emerald City
  • The Cowardly Lion is now very confident and calls his parents every day because they’re his best friends
  • The Tin Man is clearly made from recycled Razr Scooters
  • The Man Behind the Curtain is an iPad app
  • Dorothy live Tweets the whole thing
  • Replace Oz with Pandora
  • Glinda the Good Witch is played by Lady Gaga
  • The tornado is featured on a TLC reality show about storm chasers called Weather Pirates
  • The Wicked Witch of the West is melted by Four Loko
  • Our heroes start a Facebook group denouncing the inhumane treatment of flying monkeys
  • No more Yellow Brick Road, where we’re going we don’t need Yellow Brick Roads
  • Dorothy never awakes from her dream and spends eternity in limbo looking for Saito