The only show last night that seemed to capture the true spirit of the holiday was It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Halloween is just a sloppy, drunken mess populated by broken people dressed in slapdash trash costumes and someone gets pregnant. (Oh, and also delightful children engaging in the wonders of the imagination, but I’m talking about Halloween: After Hours.) It is NOT everyone wearing costumes imagined by a team of professional comedy writers and executed by a highly-skilled team of Hollywood production designers, and it is NOT a hilarious adventure. (And as someone who has actually attended a corporate Halloween party in the workplace cafeteria, I can tell you that The Office got a whole LIST of things wrong.) Honestly, Halloween is a lot like New Year’s Eve: intense anticipation with the fully-formed knowledge that there is nothing at the end of that road but disappointment, and yet, the road must be traveled anyway. The difference between Halloween and New Year’s, of course, is that New Year’s at least carries with it the promise of a fresh start, while Halloween is just people dressed as sluts. (If there was only a way to COMBINE THE TWO!) In any case, let’s be safe out there this weekend, you guys. And let’s discuss last night’s television!