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Meet Ian Ziering: Professional Cosmetics Company Representative

Ian Ziering, best known as “Ian” on the hit show, 90210: The Old Class, has a new job as a representative for an anti-aging cosmetics company. Fair enough. We’ve all got to put food on our families. Admittedly, it’s a little weird that he refuses to name the company he works for and that he uses terms like “galvanic current,” but FOOD IS EXPENSIVE. From MorrisTownGreen.com:

Actor Ian Ziering, who played Steve Sanders on Beverly Hills 90210, appeared at Suzi’s Salon & Spa in Morristown today to pitch a line of “anti-aging” products that includes a battery powered device designed to pump “galvanic current” through your pores.

Ian’s ground rules for the interview asked us not to identify the publicly traded company that markets the gadget, gels and cleansers because he said that would undermine other area sales reps.

Identifying the company you work for would undermine other people that work for that company? I guess so! I didn’t go to business school, so what do I know about the gadget, gels and cleansers industry. The whole thing just sounds VERY legitimate. Of course, selling these products in Morristown is in addition to acting, right?

“This is in addition to acting,” Ian, 46, was quick to point out. “I found this to be a great way to leverage my success to help other people. As an actor, you know that every act has a closing curtain. I’m always looking for additional revenue streams. This represents the cutting edge in (anti-aging) research.”

AS AN ACTOR, YOU KNOW THAT EVERY ACT HAS A CLOSING CURTAIN! Holy moly. This guy could sell a glass of water to a man drowning in his own vomit. “I’d like just enough anti-aging cream to get me back to just before you said that.” Hey, here’s a quick question, does this whole thing get way weirder and way sadder? (Answer: yes.)

Ian (pronounced Eye-on) said he takes acting lessons to stay sharp and he has enjoyed stints as a producer, director and writer for CSI: NY. Re-married in May, the newlywed said he hopes his next production will be hosting a reality program that pumps up men’s marriage proposals.

During a 90-minute presentation at Suzi’s for salon employees and local businesswomen, Ian said it was possible, with an initial product investment of $300 to $1,200, to earn millions by building a huge sales force.

He showed slides of “heat maps” of “youth gene clusters” and suggested that this line of skin treatments– ingredients include mushrooms and pomegranates, he said–can promote better sleep and higher energy while restoring mental acuity and flagging libido.

“When I look good, I feel good, which translates to confidence,” Ian told the small gathering. “If I can create greater skin quality, and make people feel better about themselves, I feel good about that.”

He still takes acting classes? He’s running what is clearly an anti-aging Ponzi scheme? HEAT MAPS OF YOUTH GENE CLUSTERS? Guys, if you are ever walking by the side of the road and Ian Ziering pulls up in a car and rolls down the window and informs you that there is definitely room for one more, DO NOT GET IN THAT CAR! Now if you will excuse me, I have to go post a letter that I have written to a dear friend.

Dear the Hills,

I am running for you now!

Love, Gabe.