Teen Korner: Silly Bandz: The Videogame

I whip my hair around! I whip my hair around!

Whasssssssup?! Whasssssssssssssup!?! Yo dudes who want to ensure that we leave our great-grandchildren a habitable world, and empowered young women who aren’t even sure they want grand-children if it in anyway interferes with the pursuit of their own self-actualization. Today I want to rap at you about safe relaxation. Sure, it’s fun to experiment with alcohol in a very safe and responsible manner. Did you know that in Europe there is no legal drinking age? That’s pretty wild. And there’s lots of ways to have sexual experiences without even taking your clothes off! But it’s also important to learn how to relax by yourself. No, silly gooses, I’m not talking about masturbation, although that’s a really safe way to learn about your body and is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I’m talking about learning to be comfortable when you are alone.

There’s lots of things you can do when you’re on your own. You can listen to music. You can download a book. You can draw a picture. You can sit quietly and think your thoughts, even. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to relax. Being a teen is super stresserz. I know, dude-os, I’ve been there! Now, as a grown up–but, like, a cool grown up–I can’t really recommend videogames as a way to relax. But some young people do find them a welcome distraction from all the homework and hormones of the school day. Perhaps you’d like to play a game based on Silly Bandz! Silly Bandz are da bomb! Actually, now that I think about it, you definitely should stop reading books and should just play some videogame about fucking gummy bracelets. (That’s right, I swore. If you want to act like a little adult, I’m going to treat you like a little adult. Now smoke this whole pack of cigarettes and learn your lesson.) (Totes makidding. Don’t smoke, guys! Stay cool in school!) (Via TheDailyWhat.)