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Saturday Night Live: Emma Stone And Kings Of Leon

Emma Stone is a red herring. People like to tell themselves that she’s quirky because in most of the movies she’s been in so far, as discussed in her opening monologue, she has consistently played the love interest to nerds. The entertainment media helps to perpetuate this, because when you have a rising star, much like when you commit crimes, it is good to have your stories straight. And so: Emma Stone becomes the off-beat “nerd-magnet” that she plays in movies. But this falsely assumed quirkiness makes her seem more charming and less beautiful than she actually is. People think she isn’t “movie” pretty but is rather more “attainable” pretty, which is already a distinction that makes no sense, because SHE IS IN MOVIES. As soon as you are in movies, you look like you are in movies. And Emma Stone is really pretty. So what are we even talking about here? And as far as her being a quirky person, this is based on her saying words that someone else wrote, so, again, huh? It’s not like anyone really knows what she is like. Did you know that her best friend is Taylor Swift? Cool. I’m sure the two of them love to stay up all night listening to old Steve Martin records and not taking themselves too seriously. It should be pointed out that the fact that Emma Stone is a strikingly beautiful, completely quirk-free 22-year-old movie star is not a problem, it’s just that we, as a nation, need to start facing the facts. Besides, if she were so quirky, don’t you think she would have been better on this weekend’s Saturday Night Live? Because she wasn’t that good!

The first sketch, when Emma Stone played a “poor person” who had just won an extreme home makeover on an HGTV show was one of the few times she even seemed like she was in the show. So maybe she shouldn’t have phoned it in. I mean, the whole point of that sketch was for her to have zero affect, but there’s “zero affect” and there’s “ZERO AFFECT.” Also, Kristen Wiig’s character in that sketch was basically just the excitable aunt she’s been playing for a couple seasons now. The excitable aunt is a great character, I’m just not sure we need two of her? And that gets at something that seems to be happening a lot lately, namely the heavy recycling of certain themes with minor tweaks. Like, My Brother Knows Everything:

Fair enough! But this is, like, the fifth iteration of a nerdy kid (with or without his/her own talk show) in the past four weeks. How many variations on an awkward nerdy kid do we need? How about two. We need two. And that’s it.

The two highlights of the show both came during Weekend Update. First, there was John Mulaney’s new segment, “I Love It”:

I love it! And also Stefon:

“A stuck up kitten who WON’T sign autographs” was the joke of the night.

What I will say about this season of Saturday Night Live is that although it has felt very rocky as the show continues to struggle to put together a cohesive and compelling cast and the writers do their best to power through this nerdy teenager in every sketch phase, they’ve made some pretty weird sketches, which is always nice to see, whether they work or not. Like, that dancing french kids thing? What was THAT? Not for me, necessarily, but a bold move that I can appreciate. And “Sex” Ed Vincent was great:

So there you go. At one point, Emma Stone played a very convincing Lindsay Lohan, probably because of how they are both so homely and quirky. Also: Kings of Leon played. Shrugh. Next week, though: Jon Hamm and Rihanna on a Halloween episode? FINGERS CROSSED!