Nicolas Cage Calls For An End To Organized Crime

Ugh, aren’t you guys sick of all this organized crime? Don’t you wish someone would finally say “Hey, organized crime, ENOUGH ALREADY!”? Well, today we can all breath a little easier. Because the owner of the world’s largest private wig collection star of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and The Family Man, Nicolas Cage, has finally broken his legendary silence on the subject of organized crime, calling for its end. From DigitalSpy:

Nicolas Cage has called on the international community to unite against organised crime.

The Oscar winner spoke at a United Nations conference on crime in Vienna on Thursday and advocated a united front against lawlessness, according to The AP.

Oh good. So organized crime is over now, yes? The BBC reports that he called it his “most challenging and meaningful role.” HA! (For more ha’s, you can watch his speech here.) Look, I hate organized crime as much as the next person who totally hates organized crime, and actually, even though calling this his “most challenging and meaningful role” is pompous and hilarious, LOOK AT SOME OF THE DUDE’S ROLES. Fair enough, Nicolas Cage. Well said. But maybe it is time to chill with the celebrity ambassadors, United Nations. Any time that an International deliberative body grappling with worldwide issues of enormous impact has to type a press release announcing that “Nicolas Cage has been appointed as our goodwill ambassador of global justice” (GLOBAL JUSTICE!) it is time for that international deliberative body grappling with worldwide issues of enormous impact to take its eye off of organized crime for just a second and take a look at ITSELF.