You know, the thing that people didn’t talk a lot about during the whole Chilean Miner Crisis/Celebration 2010 was how weird it is for people to even be in the MOLTEN CORE OF THE PLANET in the first place. You know what I mean? Like, we are all very glad that things worked out the way that they did in the end (especially this guy) but it’s a strange world, to say the least, where the world’s eyes are fixed on a straw-sized tube in the ground through which human beings travel like bubble tea through a mile of rock from this tiny hole where they spent three months wondering how their brains hadn’t melted out their ears yet. You know? I’m not saying that I understand the intricacies of certain resource requirements that our modern global lifestyles demand of our sad sweet planet, or the difficult and risky methods by which we secure those things so that our iPads blink in the night. I’m just saying that we can have LIFELIKE dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movie and yet human beings still have to travel into the heart of darkness and sometimes shit happens and you’re just like fuck.
And so, whether you are on the surface of the planet, or deep within its nightmare confines, you do have to find something to make you happy before you are buried (one way or the other). For example, starting up a YouTube account expressly for the purpose of posting your Aspberger-fueled video tours of midwestern Bed, Bath and Beyond elevators.