That’s Your Girlfriend: Dianne Rochenski

Look, I’m as aware as anyone of the importance of finding something in this world that makes you happy. It’s the only way to stay afloat! And if your girlfriend wants to fill the apartment that the two of you share and are using as the foundation for the life you are trying to build together with rats, and if she wants to give them names from Pixar movies, and if she openly admits to everyone she meets including camera crews and newspapers that not only do you love rats and fill your house with rats, but that you got the idea, as an adult, from watching Ratatouille, please, tell her in the bed you share tonight to knock herself out. It is literally no skin off my back. (Note to self: look up where the expression “no skin off my back” comes from. It’s gross. And weird!) I will tell you where I start having a problem with the proclivities of this woman who you respect and like to believe you would be great friends with even if you ever stopped sleeping together: it is exactly at the point where she wraps a four-week dead rat in a napkin and keeps him in a treasure drawer. ALTHOUGH one could argue that the point at which my problem actually started before that, whenever it was exactly that she gently RUBBED BLUEBERRY YOGURT AROUND THE MOUTH OF THE DEAD RAT. Either way: tell her to knock it off. Seriously, grow some balls and tell her what’s what. Relationships are compromise but this is ridiculous. (Via Dlisted.)