Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

I’m not sure when the introduction to the Monsters’ Ball became the Huffington Post Celebrity Gossip Dumping Grounds, but as we all prepare to HACK OUT for the weekend, here’s something from the Huffington Post Entertainment Page:

Jessica Simpson is passing along some helpful information.

“This link just made my morning! RT @OMGFacts: The average person farts about 14 TIMES each day! How to fart less? –> http://bit.ly/dl3Dss,” she tweeted.

The link she refers to advises cutting down on dairy and fatty foods.

Earlier this year, Us Weekly reported that Jessica “let out a very loud fart” during a business meeting.

“The tension was extreme,” a source told the magazine.

THE TENSION WAS EXTREME, YOU GUYS. Hahaha. Honestly, I’m starting to thing this is just the way things are now. Better get used to it, I guess. (And better get those urine filtration systems ready. The water is rising. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!)

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of this week’s Bruce Willis Meat Hat Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 The New Sound | Oct 6th Score:90

Oh, Gabe. Really?

How about we all stop trying to be pithy for two seconds and just think about how nice this quote is?

JGL: “It’s wonderful to be mistaken for him. He taught me to question the relationships other people have with their siblings because he would be my favorite person in the world even if I wasn’t lucky enough to know him as my brother. He’s just awesome in every way that I pay attention to. I ask myself, ‘Do I love him because he’s my brother or is he really that awesome?’ He’s really, really awesome… It’s rare that I don’t feel really proud of him.”

Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt
#4 CindiLightballoon | Oct 6th Score:96

Aw, c’mon guys. This seems genuinely sad to me. He was more than a hippie lover of The Matrix — he was, for example, someone’s brother.

(*I have a Coexist bumper sticker)

Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt
#3 huckabeast | Oct 4th Score:98

This girl

would look at this girl

and chop off her head.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Bride Wars
#2 Patrick M | Oct 1st Score:98

I’m pretty sure I’ll never top that.

Bye, everyone!

Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
#1 huckabeast | Oct 6th Score:136

Uh-Oh, Spaghetacos.

Posted in: iCarly Spaghetti Tacos Remind Us That Kids Are The Worst

[Ed. note: For those interested, there is an update over at the Videogum Book Club. Check it out! And stay in school!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 Bubbles | Oct 6th Score:-30
No cause listed =

- suicide
– drug overdose
– embarrassing death

Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt

[Ed. note: OK, so, to address both this comment, and the couple of Highest Voted comments above that deal with the Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt obituary post, let’s put things back into perspective everyone, please. First of all, RELAX. While one can only imagine how difficult this time is for Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his family, please do not worry that a thread of Internet comments on a small-to-medium-sized pop culture blog are having any effect. Not that I am encouraging rude or gross or insensitive comments. The opposite, in fact. Let’s all be adults. But as adults, surely we can recognize that one can be respectful of death without being browbeating or pedantic. As to criticisms that my post was insensitive, I welcome your criticism but I honestly don’t agree with you at all. The post was written in the standard Videogum Obituary Format, the same as anyone else who dies and gets written about, which I believe is how it should be–fair is fair–and yes, I linked back to the original post in my quicklink, and no, I did not try and sugarcoat the fact that we had teased him, because I’m not a wimp. I will take full responsibility for having teased someone who was alive, regardless of the fact that they died later. That part is sad, but it doesn’t change what happened, and it doesn’t make what happened any more or less respectful. It was simply a reference point. Also, let us please remember that HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIE EVERY SINGLE DAY IN THIS WORLD, so to some extent, the sacred hush that we all feel when we learn of someone’s death who we first read about on a blog is KIND OF BULLSHIT. I’m not saying we shouldn’t treat death with a heightened sensitivity because we should because death affects the living, and the living have rights in terms of decency and respect and whatever. But I guess I am just saying that we can all calm down a little bit. A man has unfortunately died, just like a million other people died this week. This one just happened to get mentioned on Twitter. (And as far as this particular comment is concerned, uh, it’s true? 36 year olds don’t just die for no reason. Something happened. It’s perhaps a little blunt and a little on the nose, but it’s pretty obvious speculation that is only encouraged by silence. If Dan Gordon-Levitt’s death wasn’t being talked about, then perhaps these speculations would be invasive of privacy, but I don’t think that’s the case here, and I hardly think Bubbles went overboard with it, so let us cut him or her a break for responding in a pretty standard way to the world we all live in.)]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

topknot | Oct 5th Score:82

Spoiler Alert: the meat was red the whole time.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bruce Willis Meat Hat

[Ed. note: Congratulations, topknot. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

wherewolf | Oct 7th Score:15

This is without a doubt the hardest decision I will ever make.

Posted in: The Videogum Song Contest: The Finalists

[Ed. note: Oh man, I know, right? Seriously, you guys really killed it on the Videogum Song Contest. If you haven’t already, please remember to go listen to all the finalists and vote for your favorite. And if you’ve already done that, then please just go listen again. Very great. Very songs. How is the pie, indeed.]