On last night’s episode of The Late Show with David Letterman, Bruce Willis appeared to promote…something? Lipitor? Anyway, he came out wearing a meat hat. (You can watch the segment over at Entertainment Weekly.) I guess the reason he did this is because a million years ago Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat? Honestly, I’m not even sure what is going on here. It’s basically a Dad Joke gone terribly wrong on national television. “Get it? Meat hat! Like Madame Gaggo!” No, dad. No more talking until we get to the mall, and when I get out of the car I don’t know you. You know what else is weird? When Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, and Ashton Kutcher take vacations together. That’s so weird! That is like some Eyes Wide Shut shit. Yuck. “This year, I’ve rented us a prison cell. It’s right on the beach! (Alcatraz.) (What?).” ANYWAY: caption this photo of Bruce Willis wearing a meat hat, please.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. “Verrryyy neeattttt.” — Your Dad.