That’s Your Boyfriend: Andrew Shirvell

You’ve had a lot of boyfriends in the past, but Andrew Shirvell is YOUR BOYFRIEND with a capital BOYFRIEND. From CNN:

For nearly six months, Andrew Shirvell, an assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan, has waged an internet campaign against college student Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student assembly president at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

Using the online moniker “Concerned Michigan Alumnus,” Shirvell launched his blog in late April.

“Welcome to ‘Chris Armstrong Watch,'” Shirvell wrote in his inaugural blog post. “This is a site for concerned University of Michigan alumni, students, and others who oppose the recent election of Chris Armstrong — a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR — as the new head of student government.”

Shirvell said he works on the blog during his off-hours.

Oof. Just to clarify what is going on here, an ASSISTANT ATTORNEY GENERAL in Michigan has launched a BLOG dedicated entirely to the defamation of character of a COLLEGE STUDENT. I mean, on top of that, the whole thing centers around the student’s homosexuality and his efforts as student council president to secure, for example, equal housing for transgender students, so once you dig into it you can really start to see why you spoon Andrew Shirvell every night and waggle your fingers at him to indicate the empty space where a wedding ring is supposed to go. But regardless of the HATE CRIMEY aspects of this dude (who you love and cherish), just the fact that a grown adult man with an important role in a state’s government has started a blog to attack a child is INCREDIBLE. He’s a keeper!!!!!

And, because today is Anderson Cooper Day, wait until you see him tear this coconut a new coconut hole:

There’s also a great video of this blockhead over here which includes the quote “we are all adults here, and I am just giving him some adult criticism.” YUUUUUUUP! You sure are, gurrrl. And congrats, of course, to the Attorney General for declining to comment. Very cool approach. You should definitely not fire this guy and come out with a public statement denouncing ADULTS DRAWING SWASTIKAS ON CHILDREN’S FACES ON THEIR BLOGS WHILE WORKING FOR YOU IN THE GOVERNMENT REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT YOU INCLUDED A STRONG STANCE AGAINST “CYBER-BULLYING” IN YOUR ELECTION CAMPAIGN BUT THAT TOO. Everyone’s got to blow off some steam by committing insane hate crimes, right guys? I bet when you and your boyfriend Andrew Shirvell are sharing the Sunday New York Times over brunch, you go straight for the Sunday Styles section and he goes straight for the JAIL. (Thanks for the tip, Tim.)