Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Tonight begins the Yom Kippur holiday for the Jews, the day of atonement. It’s the most sacred holiday on the Jewish calendar, and in addition to prayer and whatever, it also includes 24 hours of fasting. You can’t even eat candy! Personally, I don’t truck much with organized religion in general, but I do fast every year because there seems something morally instructive about it. Lots of people in the world go without food and water every day, surely there’s some kind of knowledge to be gained from sharing that experience for a little bit. I guess that sounds really self-aggrandizing and morally superior, even if it is true. GREAT, ANOTHER THING TO APOLOGIZE FOR TOMORROW. If you are a Jew, have an easy fast! And good luck with the Book of Life thing. If you are not a Jew, have fun in church? You’ll be in church, right? You guys are always in church!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Faces of the Last Season of Oprah Caption Contest, the winner of the Lord of the Rings trilogy Blu Ray DVD giveaway, and the Editor’s Choice:

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 hlebtastic | Sep 15th Score:99

You know what else doesn’t get a glary screen when you try to read it by the pool? A book.

Posted in: The Kindle Girl Must Die
#4 shellbomber | Sep 13th Score:108

The Pursuit of Happyness, if only for that goddamn “y.”

Posted in: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
#3 Jeb | Sep 13th Score:112

It’s not Most Not-As-Good-As-My-Coworkers-Kept-Saying Movie of All Time!

Posted in: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
#2 Baby Friday | Sep 14th Score:116

You have my ability to take the fun out of any movie experience with feminist film theory.

Posted in: One Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Blu Ray DVD Giveaway To Rule Them Ugh
#1 werttrew | Sep 13th Score:234

graphic courtesy of Lakonislate

Dear Videogum Staff: I once again nominate the 2009 film Amelia, the biopic about aviatrix Amelia Earhart starring Hilary Swank and Richard Gere, for The Worst Movie of All Time. This is a truly awful film.

Imagine, if you will, being trapped in your theater seat, desperately rocking left and right, trying to escape the nightmare vision playing before your eyes. Imagine, if you will, your terror as the film’s awfulness increases and you realize you are doomed to smack into the hard surface of Ugh with great terriblocity. Imagine, if you will, that you have pitifully put up your arms to stop the horror, but to no avail, no avail. Imagine, if you will, that your film-viewing experience goes something like this:

Yeah, watching Amelia is pretty much like that. So I beseech you to cover this film in the next round of WMOAT. But if the film is not nominated in this round, I shall once again be here every week till this film’s inclusion is secure. Good day and thank you for your time.


Posted in: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time

[Ed. note: Good week, everyone. My apologies to Baby Friday, whose entry in the Lord of the Rings trilogy giveaway contest was a VERY close second, and one of the highest rated comments fo the whole week, and yet. Unfortunately, Ari Gold only sent me one prize package to give away. It is a hard life we live. Congratulations, though, to Baby Friday, for a noble fight.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

pnut | Sep 13th Score:-62

Eastern Promises

Posted in: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time

[Ed. note: You know that the Hunt for the Worst Movie is back when the lowest rated comment of the week is just someone’s suggestion of a movie that they didn’t like and think is overrated, or whatever, and the people who do like that movie get so mad, even though in this week’s post I made it so clear that that is exactly how this works. Personally, I like Eastern Promises OK, although I think it’s pretty flawed and I prefer A Herstory of Violence, but still, you guys, relax already. I should probably write a post on Eastern Promises now, just to show you. Incidentally, the SECOND lowest rated comment of the week just read: “Blade Runner.”]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. note: Congratulations, werttrew. You earned it!]

Winner Of The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Giveaway Contest

werttrew | Sep 14th Score:122

You have my gifs.

Posted in: One Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Blu Ray DVD Giveaway To Rule Them Ugh

[Ed. note: OK, well now this is just almost embarrassing. Top Rated comment, Caption Contest winner, AND the recipient of an ACTUAL PRIZE? Good grief, werttrew, save some upvotes for the others! Fair is fair, though, and werttrew’s comment was funny, in addition this being an upstanding Videogum Citizen for a very long time now. It could not have happened to a nicer monster.]

Editor’s Choice

  batteredgnome | Sep 15th Score:45

If God had wanted us to climb 1700 foot towers he wouldn’t have given us barf.

Posted in: Today We Give Thanks For The Jobs That We Have!

[Ed. note: Remember that video you guys? Terrifying! This comment makes it all worth it, though.]