There are moments in the Duh Aficionado editorial offices when the staff just runs through the halls shouting “NO DUH!” because a story is breaking that seems tailor-made for the magazine’s mission statement: to expose things that are completely obvious and already known to everyone. This is one of those moments. From the New York Times:
Casey Affleck wants to come clean.
His new movie, “I’m Still Here,” was performance. Almost every bit of it. Including Joaquin Phoenix’s disturbing appearance on David Letterman’s late-night show in 2009, Mr. Affleck said in a candid interview at a cafe here on Thursday morning.
Oh, you mean that a highly successful Hollywood actor from a showbiz family with a long and impressive career didn’t decide at the height of his fame and power to drop everything and begin a rap career while his fuckhead friend filmed the whole thing? Huh. YOU DON’T SAY. Also, this Casey Affleck guy? He is clearly your boyfriend. Listen to this guy:
“It’s a terrific performance, it’s the performance of his career,” Mr. Affleck said. He was speaking of Mr. Phoenix’s two-year portrayal of himself — on screen and off — as a bearded, drug-addled aspiring rap star, who, as Mr. Affleck tells it, put his professional life on the line to star in a bit of “gonzo filmmaking” modeled on the reality-bending journalism of Hunter S. Thompson.
The performance of his career? Sounds like someone needs to rewatch The Gladiators! Also, give me a break with this “gonzo filmmaking” and any comparisons to Hunter S. Thompson. That guy was a drug-addled mess, sure, but his work was ultimately about documenting his own personal, fractured experience of the world as he nominally went about his actual job of journalism, NOT about make believe “mockumentaries” dreamed up in some Malibu hot tub after the cocaine handjobs were finished. Ugh. I can’t believe you’re married to this Casey Affleck guy!
And also this:
Virtually none of it was real. Not even the opening shots, supposedly of Mr. Phoenix and his siblings swimming in a water hole in Panama. That, Mr. Affleck said, was actually shot in Hawaii with actors, then run back and forth on top of an old videocassette recording of “Paris, Texas” to degrade the images.
“I never intended to trick anybody,” said Mr. Affleck, an intense 35-year-old who spoke over a meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwich on Thursday. “The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.”
You never intended to trick anybody? With your movie in which an actor portrayed himself having a nervous break down? Which included appearances on TV that were widely discussed due to the unclear nature of whether or not the person was OK? Also what does “quote, hoax, unquote” fucking MEAN? Look, I don’t care that this movie is fake, or that it even exists. But if you’ve been lying to people and then you stop lying, don’t start lying again right away. It is, as they say in the industry, NOT A GOOD LOOK.
You know what is definitely real and not a hoaxumentary? My dislike of liars!